Madonna

is on The Rag

this week!

• Even if she is 50! Check out her birthday bash in Gossip Gomorrah A-Go-Go!

• NEW! You've got to see our new comics page Morning Squirtz!

• Check out our new MySpace page!

• Plus - New LISTS this week - Worst Rock 'n Roll Songs About Rock 'n Roll and Prostitution's Greatest Hits! 

• NEW!  Nancy Grace is the Sumbitch of the Week!

• All new White Trash Perspective!

 It's that time of the month again...

Feeling a little bloated?  Don't leave us hanging by a string...

Get off your ass. Get on The Rag.

Your source for the finest entertainment news, political insight and social commentary on the internets.  And we mean all of them.

Going with the flow since 1982 

The Rag is intended for readers over 18 years of age, possibly older.  If you are unsure if you should be reading The Rag, please consult your physician.  Common side-effects include dry-mouth, hernia and flatulence.  If you experience an erection lasting over four hours, for the love of God, let us know how you did it.  We'll pay you.  We swear.  You name your price.

 From the Ticker:

Team of doctors on standby to remove fake smile from Hillary Clinton's face following DNC

Obama chooses Biden; America yawns, turns back to Olympics

McCain chooses Biden; "Joe will be the best Republican V.P. ever," says confused 70-year-old

Who gives a shit?

Iranian space program right on track

Universities Universities want drinking at 18; professors want age of consent at 14

Usain Bolt runs to Olympic glory, world records, movie franchise

Russian president promises to "crush" all aggressors;
"I am strong like bull," Medvedev says

First to pass out at Sasquatch family barbecue gets stuffed into cooler 

Iraqi tumor tot models  baby beachwear; Suri said to be jealous

Chinese gold medal gymnast reportedly lied about her age

Hillary to be nominated at convention under little known "snowball's chance in hell" clause
 

9 medals: Olympic officials cry foul 

Tallest woman in the world dies; has last meal of three children

Cyndi Lauper, living in trailer, having no fun whatsoever. 

 10 10 years after securing his freedom from RJ Reynolds, Joe Camel now male prostitute in New Orleans

Bush denounces Russia for aggressively invading another country; also calls kettle black

Maury's manila envelope to determine Edwards' political future 

Russia invades Georgia; Atlanta burns

 Rebel bases under attack

Favre goes to Jets; Ravens sign Methuseleh

Hundreds of thousands converge on Beijing for Summer Games; one cat left 

Large population of lowland "gayrillas" discovered in Congo, belting out show tunes

 Brangelina twins finally unveiled on the Web

 Batman battles Mummy for box office title

 Obama team scrambles for way to bolster image in black community

Texas continues to battle illegal aliens

Exxon Mobile posts record profits; CEO changes name to Nero, officially breaks out the fiddle

McCain compares Obama to Britney Spears, Paris Hilton

"OMG, he's like a total drama queen," texts GOP nominee 

Jerry Lewis detained for having gun at airport

82-year-old's manager blames dementia: "He thought he was someone named 'The Killer.'" 

Madonna's latest reinvention: conceptual artist/crack whore

Islamic extremists target Beijing Olympics, moo goo gai pan recipe 

Shark attacks up for 2008; sharks introduce hate-crime bill

Obama:  "No, I'm not that guy from 24, you punk bitch" 

Sales of jalapeno peppers down; America's sphincters breathe collective sigh of relief

McCain: The media is in love with Obama ... and my wife spends too much time staring at his MySpace

 Estelle Getty Not Really Dead... Oh, Spoke Too Soon

'Dark Knight' success leads to greenlighting sequel, resurrecting Ledger

Pope denounces clergy abuse by children: "These evil kids must leave our priests alone."

Convicted drug dealer admits to supplying Roger Clemens, above, with steroids 

 Angela Davis and Elijah Muhammad Finally Make the Cover of The New Yorker

 Jesse Jackson signed to star in "Saw 5: Nutcutter Blues."