The World Wide Rag
White Trash Perspective
Even David Letterman, the last guy who knew how to make an entertaining late night talk show, is dead
in the water now. I loved him on NBC back in the day. It's like when he went to CBS he had to leave his
balls at the door. "We give you the Ed Sullivan Theatre, you give us your balls."

The guests just get lamer and lamer. Most of Letterman's guests are the "stars" of CBS's prime time
lineup. You bring out some dumbass or ditz and let 'em ramble on about their shitty shows, and I'm
supposed to stay up to watch? I'll fuckin' pass. Even Letterman had to start bangin' the help just to stay
interested.
Personally I couldn't care less if all of these shows went the way of the horse and buggy. It had it's
time, folks, but it's over now. Let it fuckin' die already.

One last thing, though: What's with all the late night hosts being' white guys? No blacks, no women ...
ever? I was going to make a joke about how the only way these shows could capture my interest was if
the hosts all started havin' sex with each other -- you know, if Leno literally bent Conan over and drove
it home for real, or if, say, Jimmy Kimmel ate out Craig Ferguson's ass -- but then I realized, I wouldn't
even ture in to see that.

Jesus Christ, whoever would?

Posted January 23, 2010
Late Night Talk Shows:
Who Watches This Shit, Anyway?
By William "Bill" Bowels
AKA "The Mook"
AKA "The Mad Mook"
AKA "Mayor McMook"
from Freehold, N.J.
OK, here's the deal. I keep hearin' all this shit about how Jay Leno is the devil, and
how Conan O'Brien is gettin' righteously screwed, and how the bigwigs at NBC
could fuck up a one-car funeral. Everybody's all up in the air about the future of late
night TV talk shows.

Here's what I want to know: Who watches this shit, anyway?
I haven't watched the Jay fuckin' Lame-o show since he had guys dressed up like
O.J.'s oriental judge dancin' around. I figure if that's the best he's got, I ain't missin'
nothing by gettin' some shuteye at 11:30.

I remember when Conan first got his talk show. I couldn't believe it.  Who was this tall,
red-headed, grinning geek to have a network show? I'd never heard of him. Now it's 17
years later. I'm still wondering why the hell he's on T.V.

Do they just give you a show as a reward for being a nice guy?
If so, how did Leno get one? He's the fuckin' devil, right?

To me, the late night TV talk show is a dinosaur, a thing of the past. When I was a kid, it
was a big deal to stay up and watch Johnny Carson. It was just grownups sitting
around bullshitting, but somehow it seemed kind of naughty. They all smoked, and
some of them drank during the show -- or turned up at the studio already fuckin'
plastered. Now that's entertainment.