| The World Wide Rag Sports Section |
| Michael Vick has a sore paw |
| This Week's Trivia Question: Which is the bigger pain in Peyton Manning's neck: his season-ending injury, or having a famous brother with a retard's haircut? |
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Copyright 2008
Eagles coach Andy Reid
announced Monday that Michael
Vick only suffered a bruised right
hand, and not a fracture as was
originally thought, in Sunday's
loss to the Giants.
"This is obviously good news,"
Reid told reporters. "If it was a
break, we'd have had to put him
down."
Meanwhile, Vick continued to
complain about taking
supposedly illegal hits from
defenders.
"These defenses come at me in
packs, man," Vick said. "It's like
somebody sicced 'em on me.
They go at me like I'm a piece of
meat, or a big ol' hambone or
something. It's like they're afraid
that if they don't hit me
someone's gonna drown 'em or
electrocute 'em or something."
"It's like a blood sport out there,
man," he told reporters. "I lead a
dog's life, dude."
announced Monday that Michael
Vick only suffered a bruised right
hand, and not a fracture as was
originally thought, in Sunday's
loss to the Giants.
"This is obviously good news,"
Reid told reporters. "If it was a
break, we'd have had to put him
down."
Meanwhile, Vick continued to
complain about taking
supposedly illegal hits from
defenders.
"These defenses come at me in
packs, man," Vick said. "It's like
somebody sicced 'em on me.
They go at me like I'm a piece of
meat, or a big ol' hambone or
something. It's like they're afraid
that if they don't hit me
someone's gonna drown 'em or
electrocute 'em or something."
"It's like a blood sport out there,
man," he told reporters. "I lead a
dog's life, dude."
| Losin' Dan the Gamblin' Man |
| For the Sport Section archives, click here. |
The AFC's golden boy
quarterbacks took it up
the old Hershey Highway
Sunday: Mark Sanchez and
the Jets were thumped by
the lowly Raiders; the
Patriots' Tom Brady threw
four interceptions in losing
to the goddamn Bills, for
the first time in 15
meetings; and "greatest
QB ever" Peyton Manning
has plenty of time to shoot
commercials as his neck
problems have all but
ended his 2011 season.
Don't whine to us about
your troubles, boys. Just
bend over and take it like
men.
quarterbacks took it up
the old Hershey Highway
Sunday: Mark Sanchez and
the Jets were thumped by
the lowly Raiders; the
Patriots' Tom Brady threw
four interceptions in losing
to the goddamn Bills, for
the first time in 15
meetings; and "greatest
QB ever" Peyton Manning
has plenty of time to shoot
commercials as his neck
problems have all but
ended his 2011 season.
Don't whine to us about
your troubles, boys. Just
bend over and take it like
men.
| "Do I throw with this one? No, wait ... the other one. No, wait ..." |
"Which one do you wipe your ass with?"
"This one. No, wait ..."
"This one. No, wait ..."
Sanchez and Brady:
One sucked,
the other choked
One sucked,
the other choked
And Manning takes his licks ...
| Jack Lambert was right: these two pretty boys should play in dresses. |
| Peyton Manning's neck problems have worsened and left him at least temporarily with his head tilted to his left at all times. The Colts' front office has toyed with the idea of having Manning run a gimmicky "Lucky Lefty" offense with all receivers running routes to the left side of the field. "Nobody wants to get back on the field worse than I do," Manning said. "But Jesus, that's a stupid fucking idea." |