The World Wide Rag
GOSSIP GOMORRAH
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Work that pole, hillbilly girl!
By Dick Jiggles

Lord God, and her daddy looked so proud of her ....

Hello, all you beautiful bitches out there! This is your boy Dick Jiggles, rehabbed, retooled and ready
for another run through the wild jungles known as American Celubtainment! Can I get a disco
whoop-whoop?

As soon as Miley stepped out of that faux trailer and wrapped her skinny jail bait legs around that
stripper pole, I knew my prophecies had come true and that the Cyrus Virus was indeed ready to
replace Queen Britney as America's Royal White Trash Hussy! And her redneck daddy sitting in the
audience just a-beamin' and a-clappin'! It was like a skanky coming out party!
Miley Cyrus chill-axes following the
Teen Choice Awards
The first annual
Cyrus family portrait
Miley's most recent
slumber party
Does anyone ever stop to remember that this money-making machine is just a 16-year-old girl? Stripper
poles, short skirts and daddy in the audience doesn't exactly scream "wholesome family image" for this
Disney channel cutie. Actually, it kind of sounds like a movie that would play on either Lifetime or Skinamax.
Hey, maybe Billy Ray's "marketing" his girl out to more mature demographics now that she's an old maid.
I can't wait to see what's next in this hillbilly hootenanny of whorishness. Miley, just trust in Billy Ray's vision.
Pimp Daddy knows best.

This column is an act of satire. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely intentional,
and hopefully stings like a bitch.

Posted Tuesday, August 18, 2009